by Joshua Karson

Reality Show Rambles Online

TV: 30 Rock

Elizabeth Stamatina Fey, born in 1970, studied comedy most of her adult life. Early on, she went by the name Tina which seemed to work out well for her.  In 1997, Tina Fey joined SNL on her writing merits alone and quickly rose to fame as the first female head writer in the history of the show.

Then on that fateful evening of October 11, 2006 a lucky few television viewers were presented with a gift so wonderfully satisfying - 22 minutes of comedy heaven - we weren’t sure what hit us.  To call this show a sitcom would be a disservice.

30 Rock quickly became comedy gold.  We’ve rarely seen anything like it on television, and certainly nothing since the days of Arrested Development.  Liz Lemon has arrived.  And she brought a team of hysterical friends with her.

Slowly, the word started to get out that 30 Rock is a show to watch.  The dialogue from each episode is genius, the writing brilliant.  The characters are perfectly cast. Fans would watch in awe, clicking their Tivo back button just to hear the joke they missed because they were still howling from the last one.

Week after week the message boards and forums online would grow.  The thread counts would increase.  The world started to take notice of 30 Rock.

10 Days. 130 Quotes.

At Reality Show Rambles, we asked fans to nominate their favorite quotes from the show and from that list we would produce the definitive Top 30 Quotes from 30 Rock.  The number of nominated quotes from this one show was staggering.  In a matter of just 10 days, the fans submitted over 130 quotes for consideration.

We took those quotes, pruned them into a list of 90 and, again, asked the fans to vote for their faves.  This is how we arrived at the magnificent 30.

Ladies & Gentlemen, Your Top 10 Quotes.

Without further ado, here are your Top 10 30 Rock quotes:

10) I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind. That’s the Devil’s temperature.

09) All people have a way of coping - I use sex and awesomeness.

08) Science is whatever we want it to be.

07) I don’t think it’s fair for me to serve on a jury because I can read thoughts.

06) Never follow a hippie to a second location.

05) Lemon Out!

04) Suck it, Nerds!

03) Blerg!

02) Live each week like it’s shark week.

01) I want to go to there.

30 Rock Quotes on Tees

We promised production of the Top 30 Quotes from 30 Rock on t-shirts for your enjoyment and we’re sticking to it.  Each week for the next 3 weeks, we’re rolling out a new batch of 10 quotes along with the corresponding tees.

Here’s our time line for you:

Friday, May 8, 2009 - Top 10 quotes announced with 10 quotes on t-shirts

Friday, May 15, 2009 - Top 20 quotes announced with 10 additional t-shirts

Friday, May 22, 2009 - The complete Top 30 quotes are announced with all 30 quotes on t-shirts

Get On The List.

Sign up to receive early notification of when new 30 Rock quotes and 30 Rock t-shirts are available.  Enter your name and email address at the top right side of this page and you’re in.  (We’ll never share your info and will only use it to notify you of additional quotes and t-shirts, as they become available in the coming weeks.)

Leave a comment below or sign up through our mailing list above (right side) to receive a quick notification when the new quotes/tees are added.

Thanks for your input so far and help spread the word by sharing our site with your friends who also love 30 Rock!

Comments welcome below and let’s keep watching…

Hey there, 30 Rock fans!

Last month we called on you to nominate your best 30 Rock quotes and we were bombarded with plenty of hysterical gems.  We then took those quotes and narrowed them down to 91 (yes, there are that many awesome quotes from the show!).

We organized the 30 Rock quotes into a nice simple poll and ask you to go ahead and vote on your favorites that will become the Top 30.

Here’s the way it works:

• On the next page you’ll be presented with the poll (we couldn’t fit it on this page).
• You’ll be asked to choose up to 10 quotes that you want to vote for.
• You’re done.

We’ll then talley it all up and the 30 quotes that receive the most votes will become the Top 30 Quotes from 30 Rock!

Oh, since we’re going to print the top 30 quotes on t-shirts, you’ll be eligible to win your choice of any quote on any shirt (up to $30) just for participating.

Please spread the word by bookmarking us on your favorite sites or adding the badge to your site (see above) and send your friends and other 30 Rock fans to this page.

Choose from more than 25 apparel products ranging from womens’ t-shirts and camisole tanks to baseball, kids and jersey tees.  Most come in a variety of color choices such as light pink, blue, white, ash gray and red.

We spared no expense on our first design out of the gate, and we welcome your feedback.  If you’d like to have a specific shirt customized, hit the ‘contact us’ button above and let us have it.

Once you get your shirt, be sure to snap a photo of yourself wearing it and show it off to us!

Be among the first to get your Rock of Love with Bret Michaels tshirt today!

Fulfillment provided by printfection.com

This is the place where reality show quotes hang out and play while waiting for more quotes from their own show to arrive.

Make sense?

We add ‘em as the stars themselves say them.  However, we might miss a few so if you have any to add, please do so in the comment section below.

Also, we’re looking for reality show fanatics like yourself to join our team and report back with some quotes as you watch your favorite show (we certainly can’t watch all the reality shows out there).  We’re also interested in people reviewing/blogging about episodes of their fave show.

Interested?  Just click the ‘Join Our Team’ button above.

For now, some currently orphaned quotes from the world of reality tv we so dearly love.  Want to grab any of these printed on a t-shirt? Just say the word!

American Idol Quote

“I feel like I’ve seen a side of Paula that I didn’t know was there.  I saw EVIL in her eyes.” –Ryan Pinkston

True Beauty Quote

“I smell bear pee.” –Chelsea

“I’m scientifically beautiful.” –Joel

Tool Academy Quote

“I need a conjugal visit like the deserts need the rain.”  –Rob, aka Power Tool

Momma’s Boys Quote

“I came here to date.”  –Cara

Bad Girls Club Quote

“Pop Off!”  –Tanisha

“Dude, I’m from f@#$ing Boston. Nobody f@#$ing cries in Boston.”  –Whitney, aka Boston

Well, there you have it.  Again, we’ll keep adding to this page until the quotes will warrant a page of their own.  If you want to see any of your favorite quotes from reality shows printed on t-shirts, let us know (that’s what we do best!).

If you want to help us grow, tell your friends and join our mailing list… Thanks!

Most contestants vying for a place in Bret’s heart (or at least for a place in his bed) are in their early 20s.  Literally, half Bret Michaels’ age!

No matter what your personal feelings are on the subject of should he be dating girls that age, let’s learn a bit more about this, er, aging rock star!

And now… Bret Michaels’ Age…

He was born March 15, 1963 (in Pennsylvania) which makes him turning 46 years old in 2009.

More facts about the bandana-wearing man we all love:

• Did you know that Bret Michaels is his stage name?
  He was born as Bret Michael Sychak!
• Don’t like dating ’short’ guys?
  Be careful what you wish for since Bret Michaels is 5′9″.
• Bret sometimes mentions his two daughters.  Yep, he’s got ‘em.
  Raine Elizabeth, born May 2000 and Jorja Bleu May 2005.  (Awwww!)

Got something to add we don’t know about Bret Michaels?  We’d love to hear it!  Post your thoughts, comments and feelings about Bret Michaels below…

UPDATE:

Below are all the nominations we received.  Make sure to go ahead and vote here…

OK, two things before we get going… 1) I know 30 Rock is not a reality show (like this website would suggest) but really, the show is one of my favorites and too darn good to be ignored.  And 2) Let’s build the top 30 quotes from 30 Rock together.

But here’s the kicker; the quotes that we start to nominate for the list have to look good and work on t-shirts (see example below)!  That’s right, without violating any sort of copyright or intellectual property, I want to immortalize on t-shirts some of the greatest quotes from one of the greatest shows.

I see this as a 3-step process.

• Nominate: We nominate a bunch of quotes for inclusion in to the list (this process)
• Vote: From the complete list of nominations, we narrow them down and vote on the Top 30.
• Production: The 30 quotes that receive the highest votes will be whisked away and sent to production for printing!

Ultimately, we will have nominated, voted on and created the definitive Top 30 Quotes from 30 Rock together as fans.  Sound like a plan?

To nominate a quote (or two), simply leave a comment below.  I’ll gather them up as we go along and prep them for the ‘voting booth.’  Once we have plenty to choose from, we’ll move on to vote.

Unfortunately, not all of the show’s best quotes will work on a t-shirt.

Quotes that will not work include:

• Exchanges of dialogue between characters
• Sentences that are much too long
• Anything from Jenna… I’m kidding, of course. We love Ms. Jiplin.

Quotes that will work include:

• Short one-liners that still sound great out of context
• Visual jokes from the show (IE. “UR V8K8SH1 iz baqon”)

You get the idea.  You’re intelligent enough.  After all, you’re a 30 Rock fan!

Here is a mock-up of a quote that first inspired this page:

Fun, right?

Oh, to stay up to speed and current, make sure join our newsletter (top right of this page).  We’ll use it to keep you posted on the progress and in the loop.  Plain and simple.

Let us begin…

How big of a reality show fan are you?

Do you envy the stars on reality tv? Do you want to become the next Lacey or Tanisha?  Do you want to audition for Randy, Paula and Simon?

Do you want YOUR very own 15-minutes of fame?  Here is our nitty-gritty how-to guide that will help you choose the type of reality show you’d be best suited for.

Andy Warhol coined the phrase “15-minutes of fame.”  Little did he know just how easy it would be for us all to aquire it.  Becoming the next reality show star can be a sure way to grab your 15-minutes (perhaps 16-18 if you play your cards right, but never more than 20).

Before running out and auditioning for the next reality show that comes strolling through your town, let us together figure out which type of reality show you’d be best suited for.

Reality shows can be broken down into three different categories.

1. Romance, or ‘Finding Love’ shows
2. Talent shows
3. Fly-On-The-Wall, or The Train Wreck shows

Popular Shows in the Finding Love Category:

• The Bachelor
• Rock Of Love with Bret Michaels
• Momma’s Boys

Popular Shows in the Talent Show Category:

• American Idol
• America’s Got Talent
• America’s Next Top Model

(Contrary to this example, the word ‘America’ need not be in the show’s title for eligibility into the Talent Show category.)

Popular Shows in the Fly-On-The-Wall/Train Wreck Category:

• Bad Girls Club
• Keeping Up with the Kardashians
• The Girls Next Door

Which Reality Show Is Right For You?

Finding Love Format

In the Finding Love category, the format usually includes an elimination, a ceremony if you will.  Each week, a gaggle of guys or girls will party it up with an unlimited supply of alcohol and try to impress the head honcho through a series of, uh, competitions.  Survival of the fittest (or bitchiest), perhaps.

During the elimination, you are lined up and basically dissected to the point of tears until you are asked to leave.  If you are the last person standing at season’s end, you win*.

*Note: Be careful when becoming part of a ‘finding love’ show. It very well may result in a marriage between you and the person who chooses you.  (Read contracts carefully.)

This type of show is perfect for:

If your main talent is on the social, personality and good looks side, the find love shows are the way to go. Here, you’ll be able to let your true self shine while partying endlessly and vying for that special strangers heart.

Talent Show Format

If you have some sort of legitimate talent (singing, dancing, ventriloquism), the Talent Show category may be more your thing.  The show floats across the nation and holds auditions searching for the next big star.  This could be you!

It may be wise to get a true grasp on just how talented you actually are before running out to audition.  We all find high amusement in the talent auditions that are clearly not for real and only there for comic relief.  The judges know it, the contestant knows it and we know it.

However, I’m amazed at how often a contestant is torn apart by the judges and genuine tears start to form.  Sadly, the contestant did not realize they were not talented.  We knew instantly yet they were never told.  Don’t let this be you.

So a word to the wise: Get a stranger’s opinion regarding your talent.  A best friend or relative will only lie to you.  Stop a stranger on the street, display your talent and see what they think.  This will only save you tons of grief down the road.

This type of show is perfect for:

If you have talent, and I mean truly bonafide and accounted for talent, you could be perfect for the talent show category.  You’ll also need a keen eye to know when the show is laughing AT and no longer WITH you.

Train Wreck Show Format

With the train wreck show, no one gets eliminated or asked to leave (unless they start a cat fight and begin beating the crap out of you).  These shows are more of a fly-on-the-wall approach. We tune in to watch either a famous family go about their ‘usual’ business (The Osbournes, Hogans, Kardashians to name a few) or we watch attractive, relatively unknowns make fools of themselves (think Bad Girls Club).

I say ‘relatively unknowns’ because some of the guys and gals on these shows (more often than not, the gals) are models or amateur models, who are known in some circles for, er, baring their souls.  If you have this history, your chances of appearing on these shows will be significantly higher.

This type of show is perfect for:

The exibitionist, the camera whore or simply the regular whore.  The train wreck shows will require plenty of antics on your part to keep the show interesting.  Since there are no competitions, we will tune in to watch you drink a lot, say plenty of foolish things, back stab a bit and in 6-8 weeks, disappear from our minds.

Go make Warhol proud and take your 15-minutes

So what are you waiting for?  Decide on which type of reality show to sell your soul to so we can all tune in and forget about our troubles for a bit.  We sincerely thank you for it, since we don’t have the courage, balls or desire to do so ourselves.

If this guide has been helpful, won’t you please consider spreading the word to other reality show fanatics.

Not really, but half the fun is shouting at the screen when Bret makes those awful decisions to give someone another chance at winning his heart.  Who are your favorite girls?  Who should he choose?  Unite with other ‘Rock’ fanatics and vote for your favorite Rock Of Love Bus chic.

I love it!  But sadly only one girl can be, uh, so lucky.  Even if it lasts a few short months.  Oh, will Bret Michaels ever find true love?  Who knows.  Who cares!  The show rocks.

OK, let’s hear whatcha think…

Who do you want to win Bret’s heart, or at least who will be the one he wants to ‘get to know’ a little longer and crown his true rock chic.

Cast your vote and then speak your mind by leaving a comment below.  Only the girls currently still on the bus are listed…

Ok, back to Rock Of Love Bus… As of the time of this writing, only 3 episodes have aired, and would you believe we have plenty of rambles that will look smashing on t-shirts.

The Main Point Of This Site:

Please cast your vote as to which ramble (quote) you’d love to see printed on to a t-shirt.  The ramble with the most votes will be sent to production and put on shirts.  You could win your favorite  shirt or you’ll be able to purchase your favorite shirt (more details to follow…)  Here is a mock-up we designed of what the Rock Of Love Bus shirt will look like.

Snazzy, eh?!  And this is what it looks like on a vector image of a guy and girl wearing it on their shirt:

After you cast your vote, let us know your thoughts by leaving a comment below.  Feel free to also suggest or nominate a new ramble as the episodes roll along.

Thanks, and enjoy the reality show!

Cast your vote here: